Girls Weekend 24. Sunday, October 24, 2021. Keys Ranch Tour

Sunday, October 24, 2021

 

We were up early as usual today but had to get moving with purpose, as we had reservations for a 9:30 tour of Keys Ranch, inside of JTNP. GPS says it will take us an hour to get there, and the website says it’s hard to find, so we wanted to leave a bit early. We tossed the states—Arizona is out, so only four states remain.

 After quick showers, some coffee, yogurt, and protein bars, we gathered up the necessities for a day in the open desert air and left at 8:10 am. We entered the west entrance and made it to the designated tour meeting point at 9:25 am. We were a bit concerned about the time, as access to Keys Ranch is only accessible through advance reservation, but we were nowhere near the last of the tour group to arrive.

 Shortly after 9:30, Park Ranger Ian arrived to open the locked gate that marked the entrance to the Keys Ranch. He was explaining to us what the tour would be like and telling us we would need to go back and get into our cars to drive through the gate. I had just come out of the one bathroom at the meeting point, and Lori had waited for me, so we were at the back perimeter of the gathered group. All eyes but mine were trained on Ranger Ian—I was looking down to make sure I had zipped my jeans—and I thought I spied something. I calmly took Lori’s arm and told her to take a step back. Then I asked if her camera was at the ready, which was a stupid question since it always is. Lori has become quite the accomplished amateur photographer in the past couple of years. I pointed to a big rock almost at our feet, and on cue, a HUGE tarantula marched out from behind it and beelined toward the desert landscape to our right. He was definitely on a mission.  

After recovering from mild shock, Lori snapped several photos, and then alerted the rest of the group to the presence of an extra member. Twenty people rushed over to see him and started snapping away. The big, hairy, leggy creature just kept on marching in a straight line across the sand dusted clearing. Ranger Ian came over and, just like a good park ranger, proceeded to tell us about our furry friend (let’s just call him Harry) and what he was up to. He informed us palmed-sized Harry was a male tarantula, as females are much BIGGER, and that it was currently mating season. Harry was gone a-courtin’! He would visit the burrow of a female and ask for a friends-with-benefits date. If the female did not appreciate the ask, she would EAT HIM. Alternatively, she could accept his advances; however, if he stuck around for too long after the date, again, she would EAT HIM. Therefore, his role in the sex act was to choose wisely, ask nicely, perform his duty, and then get out. Can I get a witness? Are there any other menopausal or post-menopausal women out there who would like to join me in wishing I could adopt the sex practices of a female tarantula?

 

Park Ranger Ian (who was rocking dark-gray nail polish, by the way) was a font of information about the desert wildlife, and the particulars about their adaptations to the arid landscape. We learned that big horn sheep in the desert do not release as much water when they poop, and that desert turtles hold on to their urine for a very long time before deciding to pee. Ranger Ian was from Wisconsin and pointed out a bird particularly for us Midwesterners to watch for, the Phainopepla, which he said very much looked like a cardinal, except it was all-black. It took until almost the end of the tour, but a group member did eventually see one of the birds and Lori caught a great photo.

 

The Keys Ranch, according to Wikipedia, is “the prime example of early settlement in the Joshua Tree National Park area. Bill Keys was the area's leading character, and his ranch is a symbol of the resourcefulness of early settlers. The ranch is an extensive complex of small frame buildings built between 1910 and Keys' death in 1969. Keys pursued both ranching and mining to make a living in the desert.” Ranger Ian was clear about telling us the rest of the story though. Keys was a bit of a shyster and a bully and had no problem just lifting items from other people’s property and keeping it for himself. Back to Wikipedia:

 

William F. Keys was born at Palisade, Nebraska, in 1879. After working as a ranch hand and smelter worker, he was a deputy sheriff in Mohave County, Arizona. During a time in Death Valley, he befriended Death Valley Scotty, becoming involved in a swindle that resulted in the so-called "Battle of Wingate Pass". He arrived in the Twentynine Palms, California area in 1910. In the area that became Joshua Tree National Park, he became acquainted with local outlaw and cattle rustler Jim McHaney, taking care of him in declining health. Keys eventually took over McHaney's properties after McHaney's death, gradually expanding what became the Desert Queen, its name borrowed from the nearby Desert Queen Mine.

 Keys married Francis M. Lawton in 1918, and they had seven children together, three of whom died and were buried at the ranch. During a dispute over the Wall Street Mill, Keys shot and killed Worth Bagley. Keys was convicted of murder and went to San Quentin Prison, where Keys educated himself in the library. Keys was paroled in 1950 and was pardoned in 1956 through the efforts of Erle Stanley Gardner, author of the Perry Mason novels.

 

Mining equipment at the ranch includes an arrastra and a stamp mill for ore processing. Other buildings include an adobe barn, a schoolhouse, a tack shed, machine shed, cemetery and a variety of houses and cabins.

 Our Keys Ranch tour was wonderful, and we loved looking at all the amazing tools, equipment, buildings, and appliances preserved on the property. It was also quite tiring. It took just over 2 hours and only covered half a mile distance-wise, but there was a lot of standing in one place. We middle-aged women would much rather walk 10 miles than stand in one place for that long, so our bodies were fatigued when the tour was over. This is the final weekend of the Highway 62 Open Studio Art Tour, and we had seen the directional signs up and down the highway on our way to and from JTNP. We had planned to explore more of the park on our own, but we decided instead that we would drive back into the town of Joshua Tree, find somewhere to have lunch, and then maybe visit a few of the art installations.

We found the Natural Sisters Café, a magnificent little spot with amazingly fresh vegetarian offerings. Lori had the avocado and veggie sandwich and I had the daily special, a delicious falafel salad with housemade dressing. Because it’s Girls Weekend, a table magically cleared for us outside of the crowded little spot, and we enjoyed a lovely al fresco meal in great weather. When we left we simply chose a direction to drive in, and took off down Highway 62, turning at the first art installation sign we saw. We ended up at stop #34, the studio of Ron Tharrio, who did delightful work in several different media. When we walked into the big aluminum barn studio, several cronies of the artist were sitting around shooting the s***, but the artist himself was out running an errand. These guys were helpful and friendly, and quite funny as well. One of them was an artist who encouraged Lori to start making her art journals for others to buy.

We left Ron Tharrio’s studio at 3:30 pm, having never met Ron himself, and decided it would be our one and only stop on the art tour. We were wiped out and decided to go back to the Airbnb and relax for the rest of the day. We decided we would watch a couple of episodes of Squid Game while we were still awake. We want to finish all nine episodes of the season before we leave. We turned in pretty early, about 9:30. I had started to feel a bit off and was pretty sure I was running a low-grade fever. The first half of the night was restless, and I was wide awake again at 12:45, still feeling icky. I got up to take a couple more ibuprofen, and then realized that what had likely helped to awaken me was our resident bathroom cricket, who was chirping away at high volume. I went and closed the bathroom door so he wouldn’t wake up Lori, and after about an hour was finally able to put myself back to sleep, praying I would feel better in the morning.