A Different Kind of Journey

Today's journal entry is unlike anything posted here before and, hopefully, nothing like this will ever be posted here again.  Today's entry is about traveling on a road that leads to a dark place that those of us that are parents hope never to travel.

How does one breathe when one's child has left this world before one?  How does one get through the day when that day's to do list includes planning a memorial service for one's only daughter?  How can the soul sister/friend of the one facing these monstrous circumstances best love on and serve her? Kathi and I have traveled many places together, but this road is one of heartbreak, tragedy and great love.

Kathi's beautiful and talented daughter, Ridley Victoria Morgan, passed away in her apartment in Chicago this past week.  She was an aspiring singer/songwriter and performer who had dreams of making it big in the music industry. She worked very hard over the past several years to make those dreams come true despite the huge obstacles on that path.  She was a loyal and loving friend, daughter, granddaughter and niece.  She was a champion of the underdog and those whose leanings were beyond the boundaries of social "norms".  She also was a victim of bipolar disorder and often found herself crippled by depression.  We talked about Ridley once before here on this blog back in 2010 in the entry named: Eureka Springs, Arkansas: Nov 4, 2010, Girls Weekend 13.  It was one of the first of many times that we talked about the challenges that Ridley faced and cried about her struggles.

We are crying again.  Not a day goes by that tears don't come to my eyes because I am struck by a grief so big that it takes my breath away.  I can only imagine how much bigger Kathi's grief is.  She poured so much of herself into her "Peanut" and now has to figure out how to carry on without her.

I am writing this because I must.  I have to get these words and these feelings written down so that they are no longer bottled up inside of me and because I need Kathi to know that I am grieving right alongside her even though I am not physically beside her as I write this.  I will be there soon.  I will walk on this road with you, as I have so many before, as best I can.

Girls Weekend 2019, Wednesday, October 9, South Dakota

Wednesday, October 9 2019

Sadly, today is the last day of this years' Girls Weekend.  We both always hate to see this day come because we always enjoy one another's company so very much and we treasure the time that we have together.  Our original plan for today was to get all packed up and load the car, then go an walk around a bit in downtown Rapid City, but with weather has changed drastically!!  That winter storm that I spoke of yesterday is definitely on its way here.  When we left the house the temperature was in the 30's and the wind was blowing bitterly cold.  We weren't really dressed appropriately to walk around outside in that kind of weather, so we, instead, checked out the lobby of the historic Hotel Alex Johnson (which was beautiful) and got a coffee at the Starbucks that was there.  There was a nice fire going in the lobby fireplace with some comfy chairs in front of it, so we sat there and drank our coffee to soak up the last minutes of Girls Weekend.  Ironically, there was a newspaper sitting on the table in front of us with a headline about the winter storm expected later in the day that included 6-11 inches of snow!! What the heck??  Just yesterday it was 77

degrees!!  We are getting out of town just in the nick of time!

We finished our coffees and started on our way to the airport. Kathi and I were actually on the same flight out of Rapid City to Denver, which very seldomly happens. While turning in the keys to the rental car, we ran into a very nice family who were just arriving for a week's vacation here in Rapid City (yikes! the weather!) and we gave them our park passes to both the Badlands and Custer State Park, since both had 5 days left on them and we hated to see them go to waste.

The flight to Denver went smoothly and the temperature there when we got off the plane was 72!  Soooo much nicer!

We were flying United and I have been a Mileage Plus member for years and every year I get 2 free one day passes to a United Club Lounge.  I have only the opportunity to take advantage of it once in all the years that it has been available to me.  As Kathi and I were walking toward our gates in Denver (both were on the same concourse), I noticed the sign for the United Club Lounge.  I managed to find my passes on my phone and Kathi and I made our way to the lounge.  If you have never had the opportunity to visit one of these lounges, you are missing out on a nice experience.  There is a bar where the drinks are free and they provide snacks and food.  It is quiet and has comfortable chairs.  You just have to be mindful of the time because you can't hear any of the gate announcements.  Kathi only had about 30 minutes to spend there before she needed to go to her gate for boarding.  I still had about an hour before I needed to leave.  As I was sitting there looking out the window I noticed that the sky looked really strange.  I wish I had taken a picture but, unfortunately, I didn't.  A BIG dust storm blew in from the west.  It lasted about 20 minutes and then it was over, but it was a bizarre thing to watch.  Kathi was texting me from her gate to see if I was seeing what she was seeing.  It freaked us both out a bit and we were both happy that it was over before our planes left.

We each boarded our planes for the final leg of our journey home, sad that it is over but thankful for the beautiful weather we had while in South Dakota and for the time we got to spend together.

Until next year!!

Girls Weekend #22, Tuesday, October 8, 2019, South Dakota

Tuesday, October 8 2019

Today we returned to the Crazy Horse Memorial because we were too late for the bus ride to the bottom of the monument when we were here on Sunday and thought it was something worth doing.  We also drove the loop road (which is a TRUE loop road by the way) through Custer State Park, which I now declare my SECOND favorite place in South Dakota!

Kathi had scheduled us to have massages yesterday but she got a call from the place saying that the city was doing some jackhammer work just outside their location and that they were cancelling all of their appointments for the day because who wants to listen to jackhammers while they are getting a massage??  We rescheduled for today at 6pm, so we knew we had to get all of our sightseeing done and get back into Rapid City by 5:45 to make it to our massage appointment.  Even so, we got a bit of a late start on our daily adventures, not leaving the house until around 1pm.  We went to Crazy Horse first and arrived just in time to take the bus to the foot of the monument.  Our bus driver was clever and funny and told us stories on the drive.

The original sculptor Korczak Ziolkowski was commissioned by Lakota Elder Henry Standing Bear to create the memorial because he felt that white man should know that the red man has great heroes, too. Work began on the memorial in 1948 and it is FAR from completion but continues to be worked on to this day.  Ziolkowski and his wife had 13 children and nearly all of them have had and continue to have a hand in the project.  Ziolkowski left detailed instructions for those he left behind regarding not only his vision for the work but how to go about completing it because he knew he would not be able to complete it in his lifetime. 

Once it is finished it will be the world's second largest statue, second to the Statue of Unity.  The other thing that we learned from our bus driver/tour guide is how much more there is to do and see on this site that, unfortunately, if we were going to drive the loop road around Custer State Park and get back in time for our massages, we were going to have to miss out on.  The site includes: The Indian Museum of North America, the Native American Educational and Cultural Center, Korczak's home and studio, a gift shop and a restaurant. We wished that we had more time to explore all of these, but really wanted to see Custer State Park and today was our last chance to do that, so upon returning to the Visitor's Center from the bus ride, we got back into the car and drove to Custer State Park.


Custer National Park is yet another place of natural beauty, like the Badlands and Spearfish Canyon, that South Dakota is lucky enough to claim.  We had the opportunity to see MANY animals in their natural habitat in the park and on a beautiful, warm sunny day.

Wild turkey

Female Big-Horned sheep

Pronghorns By far, the most amusing and charming of the critters that we saw today were the wild burros. Stopping traffic by standing in the middle of the road and poking their heads INTO the cars with open windows.  They were hilarious and we adored them. We were surrounded on three sides of the car for a short while and made our escape when the burro in front of us finally moved on.  It wasn't long after we started moving again that Kathi's phone rang and it was our massage place calling to tell us that one of their technicians had become sick and that they needed to cancel our massages, once again.   This was disappointing, but not the end of the world.  It allowed for us to leisurely finish our drive around the park and return "home".  Well, I'm not so sure that "leisurely" is the correct word.  The road leaving the park was very reminiscent of the Needles Highway in that it was quite curvy, including many hairpin turns and at least one narrow, one-way tunnel.  There is a video of a portion of this drive on both my Facebook page and Kathi's.  The file was too big for me to include here on the blog. We stopped for a Starbucks on our way back and while we were both relieved to get out of the car, I think Kathi was especially so because driving that kind of road can certainly cause some tension and anxiety! Neither of us was hungry since we ate the sandwiches that Kathi had made for us while on the road, so we settled in for the evening to watch a little TV and load photos onto our computers.  All day long we had been hearing dire predictions of a winter storm coming in on Wednesday and we were hoping we would get out before it all started. Oh!  I almost forgot!  I tossed the states remaining last night and next year's state was determined.  It is West Virginia.  Almost Heaven, so I have heard.

Bison

Girls Weekend, South Dakota, Monday, October 7

Monday, October 7, 2019

Kathi and I at Pinnacles Overlook in Badlands National Park

Today we have dedicated to visiting the Badlands.  I have to say that one really nice thing about staying in Rapid City is that it is pretty centrally located in regards to all the BIG attractions in South Dakota.  Spearfish, Mt Rushmore, Needles Highway, Custer State Park and Badlands National Park are all within a one hour radius of Rapid City, so it is a good place to call home base on a South Dakota trip.

We got out of the door around noon after having a lazy morning at the house.  The Badlands are an hour east of Rapid City and almost immediately upon getting on the interstate we started seeing signs for Wall Drug.  We had talked about Wall Drug when discussing where all we wanted to go while here and we were both ambivalent about going there, but once we hit the road and started seeing signs about every 1/4 mile we decided we might as well go and see what all the fuss is about!  It is basically just a gigantic tourist trap that seems to carry a little bit of everything. What made Wall Drug so famous was the fact that they offered free ice water to folks traveling to the Badlands.  That is what drew people in and they continue to offer free ice water today.  Kathi decided she had to have some so that is what she has in her hand in the photo below.  I have ice cream! Kathi also was really wanting to get some Sudafed and she was able to purchase some here because there actually is still a real pharmacy on the property. We also got some ice cream then got back into the car to begin our adventure in the Badlands.

          

              

Oh my, what a beautiful place!  It is nearly indescribable.  All the rock formations with striations of the different kinds of rocks forming canyons.  It is truly an amazing place and I would say is, hands down, my favorite place in South Dakota.  We did discover, however, the the Badlands Loop Road is NOT a loop at all.  It just take one from one end of the park to another.  It is a beautiful drive, but absolutely NOT a loop!

We not only saw beautiful scenery here, we also saw prairie dogs and big-horned sheep.  Prairie dogs are just cute and fun to watch, while the male big-horned sheep we saw are just splendidly magnificent animals.   I love that you can see these animals in the wild here.  It is so different seeing them in their natural habitat roaming free rather than a zoo.

After completing the loop road that was not a loop road that was not a loop at all we did find a way to circle back to the Pinnacles overlook where we had originally entered the park so that we could watch the sunset.  While it was not a spectacular as I was hoping for, it was still quietly beautiful and a joy to watch. I know this includes a lot of photos, but it is just to hard to describe with words.  I have to say that Badlands National Park is my favorite place of all that we visited while in South Dakota and I think that Kathi agrees. I'm just going to leave this right here.

South Dakota Girls Weekend, Sunday, Oct 6 2019

Kathi & Lori & Mt Rushmore

Sunday, October 6, 2019


Welcome back!  Thank you for joining us on another day of adventure.  After our normal morning routine, we pulled out of Rapid City to go visit Mt. Rushmore.  After a 30 minute drive we arrived at this iconic destination.  Upon getting out of the car we discovered that it was really quite chilly here, which fortunately our weather app had prepared us for, so that's why we are all bundled up in this photo!  Much to our disappointment, about 1/2 of the trail that makes a circle around the area beneath the mountain is currently closed for updating and renovation AND the evening lighting ceremony does not happen between September and May.  The monument is still lit at night, there just is no ceremony, which I have been told is quite impressive.  We rented the devices for the audio tour and began our walk around the parts of the trail that are currently accessible.  This truly is a beutiful and awe-inspiring place.  It is so hard to wrap one's mind around how one can carve a monument of this size into a rock face and have the result actually resemble human faces!! 

A visit to the sculpture's studio included a talk from one of the park rangers that gave us insight into how this is possible.  I have always thought the process included a lot of delicate hand work, when in fact, much of it involved sticks of dynamite to blow away portions of the rock!  We spent about 2 1/2 hours here and after returning our audio devices, got back into the car where we promptly ate the sandwiches that Kathi had made for us before leaving this morning and made our way towards Needles Highway, a scenic highway in Custer State Park, which is itself in the Black Hills National Forest.  This drive is not for the faint of heart.  It is only about 15 miles long but it is a incredibly curvy road that includes many hairpin turns, but MAN is the scenery spectacular!!  (My mom would HATE this drive!)  We also went through a couple of narrow (as in one way, one car at a time) tunnels that had been created through the rocks.  Stunning drive.

 

 

Kathi decided the rock formations here look like penises, thus deemed this the penis farm
(I can't really disagree)

Upon leaving Needles Highway our destination was the Crazy Horse Memorial.  Apparently this was the Native American populations' response to Mt. Rushmore.  They wanted to immortalize one of their heros.  Mt. Rushmore took 14 years to complete.  Well, not truly complete it as the artist originally envisioned, but complete enough to call it good.  The Crazy Horse Memorial is already 40 years in the making and no where near being complete!

Current state of Crazy Horse

Artists' vision of completed Monument

So, at this point, there is his face and the beginnings of his pointing arm.  That's it.  Forty years.  A very long way to go.  

We arrived here fairly late in the day and missed the last bus that actually takes you up onto the monument, onto the outstretched arm.  A couple of very nice elderly gentleman who were working the desk in the visitor's center/gift shop (who I believe thought that Kathi and I were a couple) gave us a pass that we can use to come back another day (without paying again), so that we can take that bus ride.  We have every intention of returning and doing just that.  Since there really wasn't much more to do or so here at this time of day, we decided to call it a day and go back "home".   We watched an episode of Law and Order, SVU and turned in.  

Tomorrow, we go to the Badlands.

Tossing of the states:  North Dakota is no longer in the running and I am OK with that.

Girls Weekend 2019, Saturday, October 5

Kathi & Lori at The Mammoth Site, South Dakota

 Saturday, October 5, 2019 (Lori writing)

Today started as all Girls Weekend days start with coffee and computers on the couch.  Kathi spent the morning grading papers for her Public Speaking class that she teaches at the University of Indianapolis, while I wrote up the blog entry for our Friday activities.  It was quite windy today here in Rapid City as had been forecast so we had decided that we would like to spend the day at an indoor activity, so we headed to The Mammoth Site in Hot Springs, South Dakota.  When we pick our state for Girls Weekend and decide where we are going to stay, I like to do some research to look for interesting and unique things to do in that area.  Well, it doesn't get much more unique than an active paleontological dig site and what a cool place!

The story behind this place is fascinating and it is amazing that the man who first discovered tusks and bones when bulldozing here stopped what he was doing because he realized that this was an important find.  From their website: 

"In June 1974, heavy equipment operator George Hanson was leveling ground for a Hot Springs housing development planned by land owner Phil Anderson.  Hanson was grading a small hill when his blade struck something that shone white in the sunlight.  Hanson got out for a closer look.  What he saw was a tusk, about seven feet long, sliced in half length wise, along with other bones."

WOW!!  Can you imagine?  So, the first FOUR universities that the landowner approached WERE NOT INTERESTED in the find. The bulldozer operators' son had taken some geology and archaelogy classes at a university in Nebraska and he realized that the bones were something unusual so he took a sample to his former professor and asked him to come and take a look at the site and the rest is history.  Turns out that this spot is an old sinkhole that filled with water that was 90-95 degrees and thirsty and curious male mammoths would jump in for a drink and a swim in the warm water then couldn't get back out due to the steep sides of the hole and met with their demise.  Over time the sinkhole was covered over by layers of sediment which preserved the bones of the, at current count, 61 mammoths that died there, thus creating this truly amazing site.

A Columbian mammoth skull with tusks

There are the remains of 2 types of mammoths here.  Woolly mammoths (of which there are only 2) and Columbian mammoths along with a couple of giant short-faced bears and a variety of other smaller mammals, insects and vegetation.
The decision was made to preserve most of the remains "in situ", meaning where they were found, which is why the site looks like it does.  Because of the heat of the water in the sinkhole, all of the DNA and other elements were leached out of the bones, so they are very fragile.

Woolly Mammoth skeleton

Mammoth tusks

The entire site has been enclosed in a climate controlled building in an effort to preserve the bones.  They offer internship programs and learning opportunities for those interested in archaeology, paleontology and geology where participants can help in uncovering finds as well as studying those finds.

Admission includes a short video about the history of the how the sinkhole was first created, how and why the mammoths fell or voluntarily jumped in, and the discovery of the site, followed by a 30 minute guided tour.  Once the tour is over, you are free to roam the site.  It is a fascinating place and one I would recommend to anyone interested in history and extinct animals.

After wondering around here for about 2 hours, hunger drove Kathi and I back to our home away from home.  On the hour drive back, we saw herds of bison and antelope.  We got take-out from Everest Cuisine, an Indian restaurant in Rapid City and settled in for dinner and a little TV.  Tonight we watched the first 2 episodes of "Bluff City Law".

I have also baked cookies from the cookie dough that we bought our first day here these past two evenings which has made for a delightful dessert!

For tomorrow the plan is to do Mt. Rushmore, Needles Highway, Crazy Horse Memorial and Custer State Park.

I have been forgetting to include our nightly tossing of the states.  After tonight's toss these are the possibilities for next year:   North Dakota, West Virginia and the other piece represents Delaware, New Jersey and Maryland.             

Girls Weekend 2019, South Dakota, October 4

Kathi and Lori with Bridal Veil Falls in the background

Friday, October 4 (Lori writing)

It's Girls Weekend, that blissful time of year when Kathi and I meet somewhere in the country to enjoy one another's company as well as explore whatever there is to be discovered at our destination.  This year we are in Rapid City, South Dakota and, once again, we have been blessed by stunning weather.

Upon awaking this morning, we lazed around for a bit on our couch, then I made a pot of coffee, chatted for a bit then ate some yogurt and fruit along with some toast and lingonberry jam for breakfast.  Kathi is co-authoring a research paper and one of her co-authors contacted her to say that she needed to do a "hard read" today and make any edits or suggestions before days' end.  So Kathi read the paper aloud to me to help her process as well as seek any advice or suggestions that I might have.  This really is not as boring a process as it might sound to some.  Kathi and I are both what I would consider life-long learners and find ourselves interested in a wide variety of things.  This paper is about how and why African Americans choose whether or not to participate in medical research projects and what kinds of methods might work best to get more of that population to participate in more projects.  This is important because it has been proven that many disease states affect African Americans quite differently than the average white person and these research projects are attempting to determine why this is and how treatments need to be adjusted for those differences.

Other topics of discussion for the morning included race, ethnicity and corporate/organizational diversity and how far we have come and how far we have yet to go for true equality and diversity to truly exist.  We also started a list of suggestions for our Air BNB host that we feel could improve this location going forward.  Things like a stock of paper towels and toilet paper, hand soap for the bathroom, dish cloths and towels (there were NONE that we could find.....what the heck??) and a welcome/information note that tells one where these things could be found and any other information one might need.  Kathi wanted to include a note that the sheets should be ironed before being put on the beds, but I put the kabosh on that!  What?  Who the heck irons their sheets???  Kathi, that's who.  (as I type this, she sends me 2 photos of her wrinkled sheets........)

After solving many of the problems in the world, we showered and got ready for our day, which we decided would be a drive on the Spearfish Canyon Scenic Byway and a visit to Deadwood.  Our decision to start with these locations was driven by the weather forecast which showed beautiful and warm weather there, while Rapid City was a little cooler and MUCH windier. 

It was noon before we left our cozy little house and it took us about an hour to get to the beginning of the Spearfish Canyon.

This truly is a beautiful and scenic drive that we would recommend to anyone visiting this area.  There are a few waterfalls along the way along with rock faces and lots of trees.  There was some color, but I don't think fall peak has yet been achieved.  

We realized that we were quite hungry and decided that we would eat at the restaurant that was located next to the lodge near Roughlock Falls, Latchstring Restaurant.  Upon entering we noticed that there was no waitstaff anywhere but there was a sign that said "please wait to be seated" and that there were several uncleared tables.  We decided to take a chance anyway and were finally seated on an outside deck with a lovely view, but after sitting for 10-15 minutes with no one appearing, we realized that they must be very short staffed and that we would move on to Deadwood and find lunch there.

Main Street, Deadwood South Dakota

Roughlock Falls

 So, on to Deadwood.  What an interesting and unique little town.  To me it is sort of like a Western version of New Orleans with a little bit of Las Vegas tossed in.  The main street is comprised of MANY saloons, all of which are not only bars but also small gambling establishments with slot machines and digital Black Jack (as in the dealer is a woman on a digital screen and no real cards are dealt, instead they appear on a digital screen in front of you.......weird)  We parked and went to Mustang Sally's for our late lunch/early dinner.  Their chalkboard menu said they were serving homemade tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich as a fall special.  This sounded good to me, so this is what I ordered while Kathi ordered up a hamburger.  I was a bit disappointed in the meal and a bit surprised by the fact that the soup was served in a plastic/throwaway picnic bowl and the sandwich on the same kind of plate with a plastic spoon.  I would probably NOT recommend this place for a meal to anyone finding themselves in Deadwood and there are PLENTY of other choices.  We then walked up and down the main street and wandered in an out many of the shops.  There were two really nice clothing stores that we liked a lot and both of them had bars in them!!!  Like, full service bars with people sitting on bar stools and everything!!  The first one we went into, I didn't really notice the bar at first, but did note that it was VERY LOUD in the store and that I was hearing many mens' voices in a women's clothing store, which was odd. THEN I noticed the bar and the several loud, drunk people that were enjoying themselves immensely.

While walking we also found these barstools near the sidewalk that provided a photo opportunity that we could not pass up.

So after making asses of ourselves, we continued our walk up and down Main Street, then decided that it was time to head back to our home away from home.  Did I mention that there were drunk people EVERYWHERE???  It was Octoberfest in Deadwood and it was ok to walk around town with open containers until 10pm and people were taking full advantage of that. (Very New Orleans like).

 

Kathi is a big fan of caves and when we are in an area where there are caves we always make an effort to include a cave tour during our trip.  Well, I had read about TWO really great caves in this area and in doing a little research while in the car to determine which one we should go to, I discovered that BOTH of them are currently closed. Jewel Cave is closed due to some structural repairs and Wind Cave is closed because the elevator to the cave is currently non-functional.  Since we had planned to do a cave on Saturday, we had to come up with a new plan.  I had read about and paleontological site near Rapid City that is an active excavation site where the bones of many woolly mammoths have been discovered.  Since we like to do things/see places that are unique to where we are, we decided that this is tomorrow's destination.  Where else can one go to see woolly mammoth bones??  Once this decision was made and episode two of "Evil" was watched, it was off to bed in our wrinkly sheets for a good night's sleep.

Until tomorrow.......